I have never wanted to walk out on a show before this year.. neither have I had the desire to kick my director in the shins... 


I do not want to be here... I am sick.. I'm slowly but surely losing my voice, the NIGHT BEFORE THE SHOW OPENS, which, have I mentioned I'm the lead in..? Never has a director just not given TWO SHITS about the students, and cared only about how things reflect upon themselves. 

I am screamed at every day about things that aren't my fault or my responsibility in the first place.... when I fell down the fucking stairs during rehearsal and bruised both knees and shins, ONE out of FOUR directors actually came to make sure I was okay.. One of the music directors likes to think they can give me acting notes, and tells me every day that every ending note of every song I sing is horribly flat... I am yelled at least once every two hours, usually WAY more often then that.

Do it tomorrow, and don't think I won't walk out.... you need me WAY fucking more then I need you.


I'm not usually a very vindictive person... but I'm starting to believe that anything I do would just be all the bad karma built up from the Condor's presence over this past year..


Thanks for fucking up my senior year. 




I hope you learn to rue the day you ever walked into Juan Segiun High School.

Scool starts on Monday.. *tear* But last night was one of the BEST nights I've ever freaking had. Dear sweet LORD it was fun. 

And all I need to explain that is three words.

Cool Whip Fight.

'Nuff said.

Oh, and a tent. haha.

First Semester::
1-Health I
2-AP English
3-Algebra II
4-Theatre Arts 3/4
5-Anatomy & Physiology
6-Government
7-Chemistry
8-Free Period

Second Semester::
1-Economics
2-AP English
3-Algebra II
4-Theatre 3/4
5-Anatomy & Pyhsiology
6-Comm App
7-Chemistry
8-Free Period

:))

I have a boy, for those of you who don't know. Since the 26th. He makes me way happier than anybody ever has. It's like a tension I didn't know was there just disappears when I'm with him. He's oober sweet, and is the kind of person who is friends with everyone, so he balances me out. lol. But there is one problem. Ashley. If she even tries to do the shit she usually does on guys to HIM.... Imma slappa hoe. She's been driving past his fucking house at least six times this past week... and calls him multiple times a day. Yeah, she's a crazy bitch. :)

Anyway, I'm contemplating quitting DSW. But I can't decide.

He got remarried, by the way. This April. To a Chinese woman that he flew to China to meet. She's ugly. 

1. I miss you. so much. Your mom's stupid for thinking that I'm the reason you two aren't close.

2. You suck at teaching. Go get a new job. One that doesn't require human interaction.

3. You make me so happy. whenever I'm with you, it's like I let go of a breath I didn't know I was holding, and I've never been able to feel that way. I love that I can talk to you about everything. You make all the stress and crap in my life seem manageable, when it's usually too much. and thank you for understanding me like you do.

4. You hurt me. bad. You treated me like shit, and even then I thought about telling you I was falling in love with you. Then I ended it, and you pull the shit you did. It just made me ache to hear you finally say what I've been wanting to hear, and knowing it was too late.

5. I would kill for you, and I would die for you. 'Nuff said.

6. Even though you annoy the shit out of me sometimes, I still love you. We won't break away from each other, I just need space.

7. I want you to stop trying to pressure into moving back in with you. I'm done reminding you about bills and rent, and I'm done dealing with your stupid drama. I love you, more than I could ever possibly say, but I don't want to live with you ever again. Accept it, and stop making a HUUGGEE deal about it, and stop trying to guilt me back into your house. You want to put yourself first, and move to Dallas so that you'll be closer to work, and I'm not moving my senior fucking year.

8. You stare at me too much. And I'm just waiting for the day you realize that you're gay. 

9. I'm horrible at this, and I hope you can see past that.

10. Your parents annoy me.

11. I really wish you would have opened your eyes and seen me for what I was when it was possible. I liked you so much, but you're blind and/or jaded. I love talking to you, and even though it scares me sometimes, I love your honesty. I can tell you anything and know that I'll get your honest opinion back, no filters. I'm going to miss you like a bitch when you leave.

12. You've put me beneath you. You're self-centered, self-indulgent, and you've called me a hoe on many occasions. But I'll still miss you when you leave. Next year will be weird without you there.

13. You're not as talented as you think you are. You're going to have a rude awakening when we hit college auditions.

14. I think about you sometimes, and you're the only thing I regret. I'm so sorry that I ended it the way I did, and I know you have every right to hate me.

15. You've watched me grow up. You've been there when I needed you, and let me rant to you about so much. Thank you for not leaving when you could have, and understanding me better than most. I love you so, so much, and I will always be there when you need me.

17. I feel abandoned by you. I can't believe you left this year.

18. Yousa hoe. 'Nuff said.

19. Goood, I like you a lot. 

20. You're a bitch. :))))

21. I would choose her over you any day of the week, and not think twice about it later. She comes first for me on my "important people" list. Suck it up.

22. You're the only person I actually hate.

23. What's wrong with you???

24. I don't understand you sometimes, but you're still my good friend.

25. You make my soul sad the way you act sometimes. Smile. You're beautiful when you do.

Was freaking AMAZING!!! Oh my god, it's my favorite on-screen musical of ALL TIME!!! JEEEE-ZUUSSS!!!

I've seen it twice so far. I plan on that number going up quite a bit. 

:))

I have official set days off now. :)) I always have Sundays and Thursdays off! Which basically means they loove me! Because if they didn't, they would just fit my schedule around everyone elses. But they didn't. So I'm awesome. 

:)

Also, I'm scheduled for 20 hours this week!!!! SCHEDULED! Usually I only get that many hours by helping them out, and staying to close when my replacements don't show up. But now, when that happens, I'll get OVER 20 HOURS THIS WEEK!!!

**evil laugh**


On a depressed note. Mrs. Wallis left Seguin. She called me, and told me she was going to Boswell High instead because it's an AWESOME job with mucho moolah. I burst into tears on the phone, and every time I think about it, I start to get a little teary eyed. Mr. Aprea is still there, thank God, and he's been interviewing for new teachers, and they've decided on one, as of yesterday. Tempa Sherrill. The name is weird, but that's okay.. she has 14 years of theatre education experience, including UIL and musicals. And Aprea said that she doesn't seem like the type of woman who will cast only freshman next year to "build up their experience." Because I'm going to be a senior next year. And if that happens, I'll kill her and the freshman. Because I've done all the preliminaries to being lead roles, and now, I think it's time for me to collect my winnings.

Also, if she sucks, I'm just going to take all the theatre people that make a difference, and move down to Boswell.

:D

Working a lot. Get like.. 140-150 bucks on Friday! :D Um.. papers are due for english.. I should be reading my textbooks, but I'm not... Brittany, if you read this, call me... annndddd the child I live with is pretty retarded at the moment. :) 

I'm hungry.

-me